Blind with No Sense of Smell

Oh no! I just had a tragic revelation! My kids are blind and have no sense of smell. I have suspected for some time now that something might be wrong. It started with outfits that were carefully planned only to be put on a body that smelled…less than fresh. The FA ce popping out of the top of the shirt still had proof of the Sandman’s last visit. Surely they could see and smell these things- right? Then it was teeth that had been “brushed” but still had breakfast in them; blind eyes can’t see such things.

That dirty shirt in the living room they’ve been stepping over- they don’t know it’s there! And the shoes I tripped over, they weren’t able to see how they almost brought me down like a fallen elephant.

The odor from the kitchen? Apparently I’m the only one that has a nose that can detect the smell of aging milk poured from a cereal bowl “down the drain” only to have been trapped in a medicine measuring cup hiding under the baking sheet from last night’s (or was that two nights ago? 🤔) dinner. Homemade sour cream is perhaps their most current science project, as I’m pretty sure that’s what they were going for. My nose burns and my eyes water just recounting the tale. And yet, no one else noticed.

But it was all confirmed for me when I was
collecting dirty laundry today. I put on my brave girl panties (and yes, they are also BIG) and ventured to their side of the house. I opened the bathroom door only to be met with a smell that has no real description. Part mildew, part rotten remains warmed for days in the summer sun, part, could that be an attempt at air freshener? Pulling back the shower curtain, oh mercy, he really has no sight because if he did SURELY he would have done something with the bath towel on the INSIDE of the shower growing something far more impressive than my best gardening attempt. But NO, there it is- furry and smelly and confirming my worst fear- THEY ARE BLIND AND HAVE LOST ALL SENSE OF SMELL.

I lifted the commode lid only to be convinced no second opinion would be necessary. There, brewing for what must have been days, is something so vile and potent I’m pretty sure I should have just placed a biohazard sticker on the door and called in the HAZMAT team. At the very least it would require gloving up and doing the plunger prayer (Please Lord, have mercy on me and do NOT let that toxic waste spill over into the floor or splash up on me).

I have suspected for years that this might happen- that those sweet little eyes that look at me and twinkle might actually have lost all vision. Those noses that once loved the smell of fresh baked cookies- all lost. My poor poor children. Or rather, their poor mama!! Heaven help!

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