I decided to do something this morning that bucks the system, goes against what I was taught. Growing up, it wasn’t okay to admit to liking things about yourself. Sure, it was okay to speak the stuff you DIDN’T like out loud, but to admit to liking things about who you were was just prideful. In a world (& a life) where self-shaming and self-loathing are all too easy, today I CHOOSE to be scandalous, social norms be damned!! Here are some things I like about me:
I like that I sing out loud, even if I don’t have the voice of an angel. I like that I’m a safe place for people to rest or share secrets or unburden themselves. I like the scar I have on my left forearm where I burned myself cooking for my family. I like that I have mostly good hair- even when it won’t do anything, it still does something. I like that I smile with my whole face, not just my mouth. I like that I love lots, and that I don’t hesitate to tell people I love them even when other people would not. I love my grateful heart-I have so much for which I’m thankful. I like that I love to laugh, lots, but not at the expense of other people. I like my surgery scarred Barney Rubble feet; they’ve carried me this far. I like that I love words- to rhyme them and write them and share them with others. And music, all kinds. I love that I give good hugs. I like my ski slope nose, the same one that I used to cry about. I like that my hips are substantial enough that I can rest things on them. I like that I’m easily entertained and pretty easy to please. I like that I love the Lord and am not afraid to admit it. I like that I am loved and chosen and that you are too.
I like… That I’m a true friend. That I’m mindful of other people’s feelings. That I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. That I’m a good mom (yep, that’s right, I said it!!). That I’m fiscally responsible. That I have a servant’s heart.
This morning I woke up and first thing, I wanted a donut. I immediately went to a negative place in my head, wondering why I didn’t crave healthy foods, why I wasn’t better, blah, blah …
I decided that I wasn’t going down that path today. I have plenty of days when I fill my head with lots of negative things about myself. Today I took a stand and decided I wasn’t going to do that.
I also decided that I wasn’t going to shush my kids the next time they said something about themselves that seemed prideful. I’m going to hesitate before I keep them from saying, out loud, what their strengths are, what their best traits are, what their best features are. Instead I’m going to encourage them to repeat it, and find something else and another thing. And another.
Because here’s the thing, we need to learn to be our own fans. Not in an “I’m awesome, check me out” kind of way, but in a way that allows us to hold our heads high, recognize the gifts we’ve been given, and that honors and acknowledges and represents the worth of the blood shed for us. I’ve decided that Our Father wouldn’t really want it any other way. After all, He was all about a scandal.