This Smirk

I seem to have a secret. At least I’m pretty sure that a stranger walking by me as I sit alone would think so. Why?  Because I realize I often have this smirk on my face. Not a full blown, teeth showing smile, but a turned up, sideways sort of grin.

It strikes me, often, that I am sitting completely alone in a room and am grinning. Sometimes it even makes me giggle, because I am certain I look as if I am up to something. As if I’m formulating some plan or have successfully executed some secret mission.

I love it!  I love that it even surprises me sometimes.

My world is not perfect. My life is not seamless. Just this very morning I went to take my daughter to school and the sick cat to the vet, only to discover that I was locked out of my car. Hardly ideal.

And yet, this goofy grin prevails.

I’m not completely sure I understand why. I think that the source is a deeply content heart. One that has truly discovered, possibly without ever believing it could, the meaning of “the joy of the Lord.” In the midst of a crazy world, with a heart that breaks for so many, and in a body that hurts more than I’d like, a smile rules my face.  It doesn’t ask me if it can take up residence there.  And I don’t decide to paint it on. It simply is.  Like it’s bubbling up from inside without a thought.  Like lungs know to seek air- it just happens.

And I COMPLETELY delight in it!  It has quickly become my favorite thing about me.

For years I’ve prayed that the light of God’s love would shine through me. I think that this smirk, this unintended expression, is a partial answer to that prayer. It’s the love in my heart pushing up through the curve in my lips. And hopefully it serves as an invitation- a request for you to join me in contentment. It’s a pretty amazing place to be.