Nervous to wear #servelikesarah

Since yesterday after picking up my beautiful #servelikesarah t-shirt, I’ve been feeling a bit nervous and also like I need to apologize in advance.

I never had the great privilege of meeting this lovely girl, but since she left us, it has become abundantly clear that she leaves a mammoth footprint, a huge shadow. Stepping lightly and lovingly in the world, and definitely leaving a wonderful, giant, gentle mark.

And all of the sudden I am acutely aware of how inadequate I feel to wear this shirt.    Proud to honor her, grateful to be able to have a visible way to show support to her family, glad for the chance to increase the size of the Lottie Moon impact… but nervous to put it on.

Sarah was an example of surrendering and serving.  I have much to learn from her.  So when I wear my shirt, it will be a visible reminder to myself of what it means to surrender and to serve. I know I’m not always going to get it right, and I’m afraid that I won’t always be worthy of HER shirt, but much like our Heavenly Father, I believe that Sarah won’t hold it against me.  Still, I feel like I need to apologize.

The journals she has left behind and that her mother has so generously shared with us, have taught me enough to know that she’ll be pleased with my effort and my desire. Not for recognition of her own name, but that it works to expand His kingdom and give Him glory. That I want to grow closer to God, to be His hands and feet, to say His will, not mine be done- that is how I’ll wear my shirt. And this is how she’ll know that I am her flock.

Mindfully putting on this shirt, it will be, for me, almost as if I am wrapping myself in a prayer. A prayer that God will use me in a way that will touch hearts, that in my own life and community I will be on mission.  Just as Sarah continues to be on mission.

But when I am wearing the shirt and fall short, my prayer will be that I never tarnish the good name of #servelikesarah, that I never tarnish the name of the God she loves. It feels like a great privilege to wear this shirt and a huge responsibility.  But with hope and courage, I will proudly put it on as a reminder to do my best to #servelikesarah.

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2 thoughts on “Nervous to wear #servelikesarah

  1. I don’t think I could have said this any better! Thank you so very much for putting words with my feelings, as I was unable to convey them myself! I am very much like you…nervous to wear my shirt, but loving the message that it reminds me of every single time I will put it on. I hope I can continue to honor her every single time I see the shirt (on myself or another community member)!

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