Okay, it’s official, I’m an old person! Even when I don’t say it out loud, and I try not to very often, I am often shaking my head and wondering about what’s going on with “kids today.” And I don’t just mean kids, because, let’s face it, when you are middle aged plus, your perspective on who’s a kid becomes a bit skewed.
There are just so many things that I don’t understand. I can see, from this vantage point in life, how they are simply setting themselves up for disappointment. Comparing themselves to and trying to keep pace with the picture perfect lives presented on social media, they are bound to be sad. Wanting the things the Kardashians (for example) have, while barely having two nickels to rub together (clearly metaphorically, because they sure as heck don’t carry change!). But they’ll put themselves in debt to get it.
What they don’t yet understand is, it’s NOT REAL!! Most of what they see is run through filters, with lights and corrections and teams of people making it look like that and with a budget that far exceeds what most of us will ever know. Even the most basic influencer on Instagram is rarely showing their authentic selves- one shot, no filter, just as they are.
But they run the race. They jump right on that wheel of comparison and go and go until they fall out with exhaustion or self loathing or despair. We used to have to keep up with The Joneses, the wealthy family on our street. Though the show might not still be on, these kids are still “keeping up with the Kardashians.” Keeping up with the Joneses suddenly looks like a piece of cake (albeit a boutique cake with fresh flowers and jewels). The pressure has to be intense.
In this age where everything has to be documented to count, their lives have become sadly staged. With that staging, we’re all expected to play our part. Weddings where guests are invited and asked to wear a specific color? Is it not enough that I’m buying you a present, likely traveling to a fancy venue far from home, but now you expect me to purchase a new outfit because I don’t happen to have Petal Pink in my closet? “Oh, and the wedding shower also has a theme, so bring me a gift and wear Cornflower Blue that day, because your favorite red shirt and black pants will throw off the aesthetic of my pictures.” I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around it all.
You want me to be a guest, but only if I can play my part in your staged production. I understand that, in general, people have more disposable income than they did when I was growing up. I also understand that there are some inexpensive sources for clothes these days, but the expectation that someone has the extra income (or the desire) to buy new clothes to come and witness your special day seems over the top.
And it’s not just weddings. Baby showers, gender reveals, birthday parties- it’s everything! Bachelorette parties where bridesmaids are expected to pay to spend the weekend at some swanky AirB&B AND have a specific outfit for each of the nights they’re there? Often times these young people are just getting started and don’t have the resources to look like they stepped out of a magazine. But they love their friend, and they don’t want to say no, so they pull out the credit card and buy the Barbie themed outfit, the new dress that represents the right Taylor era, and a bougie brunch outfit. She’ll be making the minimum payment on that weekend getaway for months, but hey, she looked great in your photos!
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe these kids can afford all that they have in their photos. Lashes, nails, hair, perfect outfit, balloon arch, the whole shebang. But at their age I was still eating Mac and Cheese with tuna, paying back my student loans, and occasionally treating myself to a gas station cappuccino.
I know times change. And, often, wonderful things come out of those changes. More people are being represented in main stream culture. Subjects like mental health and sexual abuse, things that were once taboo, are being spoken about. Strides are being made for equality, and inequality is being called out.
But some of these things… I just can’t wrap my old brain around. In a society where our kids are encouraged to show only the perfect, 27th take captured photo with the filter during golden hour, their lives are going to be so hard. So much harder than they need to be. The pictures might turn out perfectly, but the memory is likely to feel manufactured. And, sadly, I might not even be there to see it because my outfit wasn’t the right color. 🤷🏻♀️
Kids today.
human interruptions 